The Metra Wake Up Call


Photo found on Google Images, do not own. 

So this something I wrote to myself on my commute to class on the train from a few weeks ago.It is a little random and it has swears, but I think it will be worth the read. Let me know what you think!!!

I have lived a life without having to suffer any real tragedies. No big, life-altering events that would stay with me forever. For some reason though, I have this feeling of loneliness within myself. Every so often in the pit of my stomach I get this anxious feeling that something is missing from my life or from myself. I personally have a positive attitude about life and everything that encompasses it, but when I am alone something just seems to be missing. Lets set the record straight here, there are no suicidal thoughts here and there never will be. I don’t even think you can call this depression. Rather this is just a young soul trying to figure out what the hell he is exactly doing. I get that this is not an original thought, rather it’s a path every individual goes down at some point in their lives.


I mean I have no real talents or no big achievements under my belt. I mean for Gods sake I am already 23! There’s multimillionaires out there that are younger than me. There are people out there living out their dreams and accomplishing things left and right. So what is my excuse? I have these strong urges to do incredible things but sadly they die out as soon as they are born. Am I just one of those “all talk, no action” individuals? What does one need to do to get that motivation to reach the next stage? Whether or not I would like to admit this, but I know there is an apathy within me and that is the God damned truth.

As being the youngest I have always been the baby of the family and my parents have raised me as such. I have had no real responsibilities growing up and have pretty much coasted through my young life. But there is an expiration date on which you can blame your parents. I need to take charge and assert myself in every single aspect of my life, because lets face it, this one issue has affected me in every single area of my life.

 But where does this motivation of completely altering myself come from? I mean to entirely change ones self is a process, you can’t undo 23 years of apathy in a single moment or action can you? Well, why not? We live life by a set of rules either ones that have been established by “society” throughout the years or some we just make up ourselves. (But lets be honest it’s still society talking.) We humans are amazing! Our minds are amazing! We are capable of so much but most of us don’t even unearth 10% of it. We get sucked in to this black hole or zone of content and comfort and we just settle in there for the rest of our lives. I am one of those people. I am exactly what I hate, what I despise and what I fear. Maybe this is the reason for my despair and loneliness. I still don’t know myself. I have this picture of what I want to be or hope to be but I am not even close to it. I have let myself believe that I am something that I am not.

Now my life is good but I am not truly happy because I feel like I am just wasting away. The minutes are passing me by like strangers on the street. Given such a precious gift as life and here I am squandering it away. I know you think that I am being dramatic or I am romanticizing the situation. Tell me honestly though, how many people in the history of the world made the most of their time? How many lives were spent living for others? How many people settled for what they got? How many dreams went unfulfilled? 

I am not saying that I crave to be famous or rich or anything of that nature. I just want to live a worthwhile life that I can be proud of. And right now, I am not proud. Because I know I have so much more potential and I can take myself to a greater place. I need to light a fire within myself that no one will be able to extinguish, not even me. A fire of passion, that will burn to the sky.

Knowing your faults and failures will and can take you to an amazing place. It is important to know yourself fully and completely. Sitting on this train to Chicago I have accepted that I have failed so far in my life. I have let the apathy take full control and make me numb. I know this and it is up to me to pull myself out of this shit daze of a life.

Hopefully just writing all of this down and making myself think, write and read this will be the trigger to escape my comfort zone. Wake up! Do something! Do what you want!

For example when you saw that cute girl at Starbucks, why didn’t you go up and talk to her? This fear of everything will get you no where! Once you conquer your fear, you will feel liberated and you know this to be true. Life is short, fear has no place here. This fear will hold you back, and you do not want the comfort zone anymore. Take that anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach and kick it out! There is no vacancy anymore, not for fear. Just take the leap man, it might be scary at first but that rush afterwards will be worth it. Apply this everything, and believe in yourself. You aren’t a baby anymore. You are capable of a lot, just lose the fear and see where you end up. Confidence is the motherfucking key.

So when opportunity knocks, open the damn door because there is a good chance you won’t hear another knock for a while. You should try to experience as much as you can because even bad experiences help us grow, probably more so than the good. Get what you can when you can.

Take risks, everything will be fine.

Until next time ~Peace, Love & Respect~ 


Why I am in absolute love with “Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara”


Okay so I know I am about 2 years late with this but I didn’t get in to the wondrous world of blogging till now so I think I get a pass. For those that don’t know “ZNMD” (Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara) is a Bollywood movie that came out in July of 2011. A simple summation is that this is a coming of age story about three friends Kabir (Abhay Deol), Imraan (Farhan Akhtar) and Arjun (Hrithik Roshan)  who made a pact that they would go on a trip where each person picks a crazy, adventurous sport that they want to do. The catch is that the other 2 can’t know about it until they get there so they can’t back out. So the setting of this film is Spain where the friends embark on Kabir’s bachelor trip. My goal of this post though isn’t to summarize and explain the movie, but rather to just give you the reasons as to why I love this movie (selfish, I know). 


So about everyone who watches this movie will come away with a new appreciation for life because it truly makes you think about what you are doing with yours. It makes you appreciate the little things in life and forces you to see the small things. Another reason why this movie is in my faves list? The acting is superb and each character is relatable. They aren’t some far stretched figment of someone’s imagination, they are our friends, our neighbors and our co-workers. Each actor has a natural handle on their roles and nothing seems out of place. A true sign of a great movie is that the story and plot flow together seamlessly and even if there are minor holes you never notice them. This movie is so close to reality that it doesn’t allow room for plot holes. The story itself is a genuine portrayal of life and what so many of us go through on a daily monotonous basis.  

I am not a critic, hell I don’t even like critics. I am just a true fan of this movie because it made me look at life differently. I just wanted to express how much this film meant to me in a public forum. Also I just watched this movie last night so I am pumped and filled with these crazy- life- changing- adventurous- thoughts right now! Seriously if you haven’t already, for some weird reason, go watch this movie, you won’t regret it.


Until next time

~Peace~Love~& Respect~

Feelings After Japan disaster

inspire word

Excuse the randomness and the jumping around of topics but I wrote this as I felt it, so there were an overflow of thoughts in my head just coming out.


Friday, March 11, 2011. I woke up today thinking that it was just going to be another day, I was wrong. I found out about what happened in Japan not by the news but from the status updates that I get from facebook on my phone, which is sad in its own right if you think about it. I then turned to the news for the first time in I don’t know how long. I was shocked and in disbelief that something like this could truly happen, I could only imagine what the people there were going through. While watching the news all I saw was the destruction in Japan, the unrest in the Middle East, and many people dying. Watching all of this got me truly thinking about life and the way people treat others throughout the world.

If you think about it this life is the only one we are truly promised because no one knows what will really happen beyond this life. When we see people we shouldn’t see race, color, ethnicity, or culture. Rather we should see individuals who have the right to their own thoughts, ideas, and views. Now I don’t believe in 2012 and in the end of the world, but there have surely been some events that have been devastating on a great scale. What I am trying to say with this is that life is short and you never quite know what is going to happen next. With that in mind I wonder how people can still show hate towards others, still have racism flowing through their blood, and still manage to create drama.

I see it everyday at COD and those who go there know it too. There is drama almost every single day between someone, there is always “he said”, “she said”, and there are always groups and cliques having fun at the expense of someone else. Obviously this happens everywhere and COD is just an example. I think it is time for us as a society to realize that grudges and these negative thoughts and feelings will never get us anywhere. I don’t care if anyone of you comments this or likes it or anything. I just want all of you to think about how you treat others. Think about the people you let walk out of your life just because a stupid grudge. Then I want you to think about it on a bigger scale. Meaning do you truly, and I mean truly appreciate what you have? There are those who have everything you could ask for yet they do not know how to live life the way it should be. Then there are those who live on the streets yet they appreciate what they have even when it is not a lot. They know what life is really about and how people should be treated. I will be honest in saying that I overlook what I have on a daily basis. It is sad that something so drastic has to happen for us to wake up. And what is even sadder is that after a few days we forget about it and then just go back to our daily routines. We never think about the fact of “what if it was to happen here?” Wouldn’t we want or even expect help from others? I have been saying for so long that I want to do something positive in the world and help others, yet life just got in the way. Well no more excuses for me, but what about you? Are you willing to give even an hour a week to help others? Are you willing to go volunteer somewhere or make others more aware of a situation in the world that could be easily avoided if people were not so ignorant?

I am urging all of you to make this world a better place and don’t worry I am not just talking the talk I will make sure that I walk the walk as well. Just think about it though, this is our future, our world, our lives shouldn’t we care more about it? If we want a better world then we need to make it happen, we can not wait for someone else to do it for us. I am not talking about anything drastic right away but just start off with being good to yourself and being good to others. Showing compassion and concern for others can make a world of difference. Think about people being able to put their petty differences aside and living in a world where there is no hate, no negative feelings and just people being themselves. It is true what they say, you could be having the worst day ever with a hundred things going wrong but just one act of kindness from someone can make you forget about your whole day and energize you and your soul.

It is true that there are a lot of bad things out there happening and it is hard to just be positive and overlook these things. I am not saying that we should act like nothing is wrong, in fact I am saying we should be more proactive and do something about it. I mean seriously “Jersey Shore” and Charlie Sheen is what controls the news feeds and is what passes as good conversation topics now a days. Do we really want to be known as the generation to be connected to that? Like I said this is our future and it is in our hands to be molded how we want it to be. As a society we will face many hardships but the triumph of the human spirit is truly a beautiful thing. We need to be strong and be united in what we do because if you think about it we are the only thing standing in the way of being a beautiful world. There are no other enemies, it is just us against us, and the sooner we start treating others better the sooner our problems will fade. Well I can go on and on about this and many other topics but this is just what I felt so I thought I would share with all of you.

I am sending this to over 300 people and all I ask is that all of you just share the message behind all of this with at least one person and that will be another 300 people who hopefully come to their senses and start making this world a better place. Just think about this, you can wake up tomorrow to a better world and know that you were responsible for making this happen, why wouldn’t you want that?


Life is a strange and beautiful thing


I am only 22 years old and I have a lot of living to do, and I am completely aware of this. Now life is a funny thing because it isn’t something that is understood by anyone, at least not completely. Throughout my young life though I have seen quite a bit and I have come across countless number of people, who are living but aren’t alive. I used to be one of those people who would get angry over pointless things, have stupid arguments, and take things for granted. I would get swept up in the routine, I would just rush through things and not enjoy where I actually was. So many of us do this and fail to realize that we are in a methodical funk. We have been almost programmed to believe that this is the right way to live and that the All Mighty Dollar is the key to happiness.

Now my point in writing this isn’t about the corporate world and that whole argument ( Save that for another day!) 

What I want to talk about is how we live on an emotional and spiritual way. As many have said before my time, that changing ones self is how you change the world. Everywhere I look I see people who are jealous, petty, or hold on to this anger that won’t do them any good. Now i know it’s easier to say this because everyone has their own battles to fight and I understand that, BUT we all have it within ourselves to live a better life. Living a simple and good life is all about perspective, about how you see the world and the things around you. 

Think about this, that argument you had with your friend about forgetting to invite you somewhere or for talking to the girl you like, is it really worth it? I mean if this is a repetitive pattern you might want to think about your friendship but to have ill feelings is a whole other topic. The way I look at things is if I am lying on my death bed in my last moments of life is that even going to cross my mind? It seems silly to think about everything in that context but believe me it works. There is beauty all around us and we just have to take the time to appreciate it. 


Now I can say a whole bunch of cliches or spout my beliefs but the truth is this isn’t going to be something that anyone else can make you see. For me, I woke up one day and something inside of me just clicked. I saw the world for what it truly was. I know I sound like a hippie and that I am off my meds but trust me this is something that comes from within. This realization has led me to mediate when I get time, which can refresh you on all levels. Just take some time throughout your day, it can even be 15 mins but just close your eyes and think of something that brings you true joy. Just let yourself be immersed in that image, in that thought and just let go. 

I guess what I am trying to say with this whole post is that life is short and we only truly get one. The life we are living is something precious and every breath we take is a gift, so don’t waste it.

It’s funny I started writing this thinking I could tell people what the right way to live is but in reality I can’t do that. This is just something that needs to come from within and I hope you all have a moment in your lives that will help you find inner peace. Life is a beautiful and crazy ride, buckle up and enjoy!

Until next time~Peace, Love & Respect~